If sweating does indeed rid your body of toxins, I am glad to report that, after today, I am absolutely toxin-free.  Whew and Phew!! Barb

Talk about temptation -- unwrapped mini Reese's peanut butter cups should be banned from the check-out lanes!  Stay strong and say no! Barb

One change that still has to be made is a decision about the membership at Fitworks -- or in my case, Pphhffttworks.  The original plan was to get into a routine that involved working out in the evening before the night shifts BUT since I'm still not back into the stocking part of the second job, that plan fizzled out.  I convinced myself that even though it's kind of out of the way, that I'd definitely do it but I should have known better!  If it's not convenient or a short driving distance, it makes blowing it off that much easier.  I'm hoping that when my younger son gets home from college that he'll help me get on track with getting to the gym -- if not, then I'll look for something else that will fit into my schedule better. After the holiday weekend, I'm planning on starting the walking laps again at the Madison Senior Center (after work before I head home).  I'll start with five and hopefully work my way back up to ten by the end of June.  I did watch the finals of the Biggest Loser (I don't watch the show regularly anymore because even though my head tells me that their weight losses are not realistic unless you're living at a secluded ranch and devoting 24 hours a day to diet and exercise, a part of me still thinks that if I work hard enough I can pull those same big numbers every week and when it doesn't happen -- big fat failure!!).  Anyway, I thought it was interesting that the one contestant (not a finalist) who actually reached the 100 pounds lost first was someone who had an injury and could only do shadow boxing and upper body exercises.  I don't know his whole story but that alone was definitely interesting and something to think about and remember for future reference.  Barb

Finally!  I can report that the food choices and portion sizes that I've been making in the past week and a half have been pretty good.  There's a real sense of accomplishment when you do what you're supposed to be doing! It probably makes it harder (what else is new!!?) that I stay away from protein shakes and protein bars and drastic cutting of calories to lose weight because if I do that (and yes - been there, done that), I don't learn anything about portion sizes and being conscious of calories.  I absolutely don't want to do the yo-yo thing anymore.  I would always lose weight and then after going back to real food, here came the weight again.  This time around HAS to be for good -- and with REAL food.  I'm making sure that I'm eating from every food group and it's best to stick with food that I like to eat.  (I know that Greek yogurt is a wonder-food but not if it makes you gag!  To me, low-fat, low calorie cheese tastes like the plastic wrapping, and if I want an egg, I eat the whole thing - yolk and all!).  Salads are also okay occasionally but only occasionally.  (I always think I'm going to start eating more salads (usually when I'm standing in the produce section of the grocery store), but after I get it home, it just sits in the frig and turns into yucky goo.) There are two "D" words that I have to avoid when working on healthy eating:  Deserve and Deprive.  I cannot tell myself that I "deserve" to eat something because usually that "something" is pretty high-calorie and I need to re-think how to reward myself without involving food.  And if I fall into the trap of thinking that I'm "depriving" myself by eating more healthy, that will sabotage any best-laid plan in a heartbeat!  That's why I have to eat a variety of foods that I like so that this healthy eating and exercise lifestyle isn't a "punishment", but a reward in itself by having more energy, feeling better, looking better, and not having to rely on medications to keep systems in check! And all of the above sounds so good (and I know it's true!) and in the past four months since the contest began I haven't followed one bit of this advice or listened to one word of my own or anybody else's pep talks. (lalalalalalala)  The result has been weight gain which is not a surprise.  Hopefully now the advice will stick in the brain for awhile and not just go in one ear and out the other!  One day at a time -- Barb

After the weigh-in last Saturday, Laura gave the contestants a homework assignment: "I need you to answer this question: 'What has been the biggest change in me since I started the contest.' Please go farther than saying that you lost weight. It might be the ability to walk up steps easier, or buying different clothes, or exercising when you didn't think you could before ... just something that surprised you or that you're excited about that is different from when we first got started at the end of January." Well.  If you've been following the contest and reading the weight charts since the beginning of the contest this year, you will know why this assignment really had me stumped.  I wanted to stay positive so I had to think a lot about it and enlist the help of my husband to honestly answer this question. Here it goes: The most obvious (and frustrating) change is that I weigh MORE today than when the contest started.  So far, my results have been far from what I expected from myself, after what I had been able to do last year.  By the same token, though, I think that I'm better able to look past the obstacles to what is positive, rather than see only gloom and doom, throw in the towel, and just decide to stuff my cheeks with peanut butter and chocolate chips.  This year has reinforced that losing weight can't be a six-week, six-month, or even a one-year project no matter how significant or visible the short term success is – it really does have to be a life changer – or the gym closings, knee surgeries, rainy weather, or whatever else that comes up will stop the momentum and any progress will come to a standstill. And it definitely takes a lot more energy to get something moving again after it has stopped, than to keep it moving along from the beginning, even if it's at a snail's pace. The more important change is in my attitude:  I know I CAN be successful, and I'm determined to BE successful – and that means sticking with it (and maybe even having to start all over again) each and every day.  It may be taking a lot longer to get back on track then I would like, (especially since results are published!), but it CAN be done. The main change that has stayed with me from last year is to be honest about my weight and WHY I'm overweight.  Even though I may look for other reasons to blame for the packed-on-pounds, the bottom line is that I eat too much and don't move enough.  Period.  Working on eating less (and making healthy food choices) and moving more has got to be the main focus for me to be successful to lose the weight that still needs to be lost and then to stay at a healthy weight.  Being mindful of healthy eating and exercise each and every day is something I will need to live with for the rest of my life.  Period. Barb

Woo-hoo!  Two walks outside, two days in a row!.  It finally is feeling like hibernation is over and both of these walks have been at pretty good speeds.  Not ready for jogging the cul-de-sacs yet (July?) and not ready for bleacher steps yet (August?) and not ready for a marathon walk (maybe in September?) but definitely making progress. Tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m. Sandy is picking me up and we're heading over to Holden Arboretum for the 3 mile Heart Walk.  She thinks we might do just the one mile walk but we should definitely make it worth our while for that early hour on a Saturday! I'm also steeling myself to not get psyched out by the number on the scale tomorrow at noon.  The last two weeks have been much better all around and I've been feeling much more positive about the whole process.  No crashes allowed.  This CAN be done -- Barb

It's definitely easier to feel like exercising when you can be outside in the sunshine!  I just finished mowing the lawn and taking a walk and the fresh air was wonderful! I've been doing better with not eating so mindlessly in the evening.  I've been following my own advice about chewing gum or popping a Werther's sugar-free candy in my mouth (the kind of advice that's been "do as I say and not as I do!") Signing up for the six week exercise class at Slim and Fit has also helped me feel more positive about losing weight and just getting in shape.  At class I definitely can see how much more work has to be done yet - heck, just getting up and down from the floor takes time!  And I have to work at shaking the negative feelings about wasting the time that's already past and having to start over.  Bottom line:  it's hard work.  Especially when you have quite a few pounds to whittle off.  I really think I had forgotten how hard I worked last year at this contest - I treated it like a third job;  every day certain things had to be done with healthy food choices and definitely exercising - no ifs, ands, buts, or excuses.  Many mornings you wake up and lay there and don't want to go to work.  But you do.  That's the mind set you have to work on to get in shape.  And developing and keeping that mind set is also very hard work.  Jamie says that "lean people lead lean lives" so it's got to become (and stay!) second nature to everything you do and eat.  Tom's latest blog was also right on target about the daily food/exercise battles that are won or lost -- and you're right back to the hard work part!!  No quick fix - just a lot of blood, sweat, tears, yelling and determination! See you on Saturday -- here's to victories each day! (and if the weigh-in day is not one day of winning battles, then you've got to focus on the next day and take it from there.  Don't give up!) Barb

--- On Thu, 5/12/11, Barb & Todd Henderson <hendersont@ameritech.net> wrote: From: Barb & Todd Henderson <hendersont@ameritech.net> Subject: Thursday May 12 To: Lightenupin2011.Barbtwo@blogger.com Date: Thursday, May 12, 2011, 10:59 PM Busted!! "Have you been eating peanut butter?" say watchdog oldest son accusingly. "How did you know?" I say stupidly. (duh!) "I see the spoon marks", he replies, "stop eating it". He doesn't mince words or cut me any slack. He's right. Barb

Busted!! "Have you been eating peanut butter?" say watchdog oldest son accusingly. "How did you know?" I say stupidly. (duh!) "I see the spoon marks", he replies, "stop eating it". He doesn't mince words or cut me any slack. He's right. Barb

You would think that blogging a little bit each week (actually twice per week is the requirement this year) would be fairly easy but you would be wrong.  And some days may drag during the week, but yet the week seems to just fly by -- The exercise is picking up but still having trouble with being consistent with the diet.  I do just fine all day with healthy eating, but undo it all at night! (and I know better!).  I can start out the day great and full of resolve, but by the evening, all that resolve has just fiddlefarted away.  UP, down, UP, down, UP, down, down, down!!  A visit to the doctor for the four week check of the knee has allowed me to go back to my other job for one night per week - no stocking or lifting/carrying yet, but it does help to get back into a familiar routine. He also said it was okay to be done with physical therapy -- so I signed up for the six week exercise classes at Slim & Fit to hopefully get me more motivated to get in the exercise groove.  The knee is still physically limiting and lets me know when it's had enough but it's also frustrating to have that fear in the back of the mind about hurting it again because then you hold back and don't work as hard as you're capable of working.  On the positive side, I haven't been late to play for church services since Easter! Enjoy the sun and the smell of freshly mowed grass-- Barb

Nothing to do but pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.  (cue music). Barb